Ms. ArmoredThirteen

I have some kind of unspecified dissociative disorder and it’s weird. The other day I was having a stress response to some stuff. Woke up, remember some stuff about the morning, then remember coming back into existence that evening. The entire house was cleaned including garage and driveway. I had been talking with people too. I think I remember parts of it but I don’t actually know if they’re post-dissociation manufactured memories as my brain tried to fill in the gap. Malls are the worst for me they’re a sensory nightmare and I’ll usually start dissociating within a few minutes.

I’ve gotten so used to it that I’ve built up a “what am I doing?” skill set. Sometimes I’m just suddenly somewhere else in the house or in a different part of town shopping or some shit. I have to piece together what’s going on like in Memento. Am I me during those times I can’t remember? DID has been ruled out but if I can’t remember things than what exactly is running the body while I’m away? People who interact with me say I respond to stuff slowly, in a confused or dreamlike way, and need things repeated to me multiple times. Sometimes they can pull me out of it then they have to explain where we are and what we’re doing.

Imagine watching a movie and periodically hitting the next scene button. Sometimes you skip a little bit, sometimes a lot, and you need to piece together what was missed based on limited info.

Joined 7 hours ago and only posts certified shit takes with inflammatory language. Get ratioed troll, lol

I left a longer response about my hedgehog holding experience, but wanted to add here too. For sure a lot of them are assholes but I think part of that is they’re pretty anxious and scared critters a lot of times too. It can be hard to calmly reassure something while getting stabbed by it. I found for the one I cared for they’d ball every time I picked them up but as long as I didn’t react sharply if I got stabbed they’d usually chill out after a minute or so

I cared for one for a few years. There is usually a difference between scared/cautious and outright aggressive (which can happen if they get too scared, or if they’re an asshole lol).

When they’re happy and comfortable the quills lie down and they’re easy to handle and pet without getting poked. If you do get poked their incredible amounts of back skin absorb most of the force so it’s more like feeling around in a pencil bag not really painful. 8/10 it’s a fun texture and there is novelty to it but it’s impossible to blow raspberries on their tiny tummies.

When they’re balled up but not being aggressive you can pick them up if you know how. Since they mostly just quiver and the quills are uniform as long as you don’t squeeze them you won’t get poked too badly. 4/10 if you aren’t familiar with them you’re likely to turn them aggressive but if they’re just being cautious it can be a lot of fun watching them poke their snoot out to inspect before unballing.

When they feel actively threatened they move their quills around, will lunge at you, and bite. The quills are not so uniform and a good lunge will absolutely draw blood. They also have surprisingly pointy teeth. 1/10 don’t attempt to pick up or pet an angry hedgehog everyone involved will leave with regrets. If there isn’t a choice in the matter, like maybe you’re trying to give it medicine or there’s a wild one stuck somewhere, leather work gloves at a minimum.

Hey all what do you suggest for a school and game dev laptop with Linux for a ~$2k budget? I’ve been eyeballing framework but keep hearing mixed things

I’m from the US setting things in motion to move out. Is this going to start affecting my ability to get to other countries? Like if there is a travel warning advisory for coming here maybe other countries don’t want me traveling to them either? If so how much time you all think I have? I have stuff set in motion for 4-6 months from now but I’m worried I’m going to have to bail early which would hose my finances…

This is the most boring drug fuelled rant I’ve heard in my life

Not who you responded to but yeah I want to hear a drug fuelled rant I don’t even care what topic

Hmm, well looks like it was a typo of ‘polycule’. But yeah most my social circle was people I was romantically or sexually involved with, I did also lose a couple of friends though too. It’s been a little over a year at this point and honestly I have not recovered from it. I lost four relationships that were 2-3 years each, a couple going on a year, one that was a few months but incredibly moving for me, and then the marriage was nearly 13 years; all of them broke up with me basically one after the other over the course of a couple months. I feel like I’ve been emotionally hollowed out and while I’ve always been tired of this country I now also feel tired of the people here

Unfortunately I don’t think it is going to die out, I think it will need to be rooted out at the cost of lives. The feeling safe part is important but I’ve been living my true self a while now. I make an active effort to not pass too well so that other trans people who feel they can’t show themselves can see me and know there are others around. That was important for me early on so I want to provide that. Has led to some less than stellar interactions though even in Seattle…

I was actually just starting to root here, for the first time in my life I felt like I could settle in somewhere. Then my polycyle imploded, lost most my friends, divorce, job is getting worse every day. Leaving the US has always been a dream of mine but I felt tied here most the time. Losing my entire social circle created a convenient opening

Depending where I may get accepted, I’m likely to end up in Umeå, Boden, or Skellefteå. So just a bit further north than Malmö 😅 I appreciate the offer though

I have to line up a job before I graduate because I don’t qualify for like a “just graduated give me some time to settle” visa, so that may be difficult. I don’t really know if the student visa is hard to get. I need to be accepted to school first then I can use that to make my visa application, so the timing is going to be pretty rushed. I’m going to have to set up moving and living, basically be in standstill for a bit waiting to see if I can pull the trigger, then hope the visa clears

I’ve got enough tech experience I probably could have. I’m going back to school though out of savings and going to get on a student visa

Thank you! I’m so excited to make my way. Just hoping the US holds out long enough for me to make the move I’m definitely a bit scared with how fast it’s all happening here

Lots of reasons over the years but the most immediately pressing is I’m trans so if the US starts black bagging people I’m high up there on the list

Well I’m going back to school there first to get an actual degree. After that though yeah I’m expecting to make around 1/3 what I am currently, between switching countries and going from automation engineering to level design. I think it’ll be a worthwhile trade-off too

Best of luck let us know if you made it ❤️

I’m doing my part fleeing to Sweden, granted I’m a programmer and game dev so not a scientist. I’m done letting the US profit off my skills though